Respected Auntie,
I am a gazetted officer in a well-reputed public sector organisation, where the source of income is limited to the salary. A few months ago, I started a part-time business venture, which was unsuccessful and I suffered losses. Because of that, I have been facing a hard time economically for the past few weeks.
My father-in-law (also my elder paternal uncle) left behind a hefty agricultural land and a commercial property to his spouse and children. Following his death in 2017, I was married to his only daughter in 2019. Despite the passage of almost seven years, not even a single penny was transferred to my wife.
I have four brothers-in-law, and my father-in-law considered his daughter equal to his son and declared that they would equally share the inheritance. But after his death, things have changed altogether. Two of my brothers-in-law have shifted abroad, using the resources of their father, while one has been given a separate home from the family one. The fourth one is living and enjoying the family pension and other facilities.
We have three children, of which one goes to school. We live in an official residence, where the monthly rent is deducted from my salary. When I ask my wife to plead her [inheritance] case with her mother, she says that she feels uncomfortable and will not do it unless my mother-in-law considers it herself.
‘How Do I Convince My Wife to Fight for Her Inheritance?’
Frustrated by the situation, I implicitly conveyed a message to my in-laws but in vain. Even though I did a lot for my brothers-in-laws, helping one get a job abroad and another free medical check-up. Despite this, I have hardly been regarded as their brother-in-law. Moreover, religiously, we belong from the Islamic school of thought where the rights of daughters exceed everything.
Deprived
Dear Deprived,
Your wife’s right to her father’s inheritance is not charity and definitely not something she should feel embarrassed about. It is her legal right. The problem is that many daughters are conditioned to believe that asking for their own right is greedy. Her silence is probably coming from fear of family conflict and not because she doesn’t see your struggles.
However, she needs to understand her responsibility. Gently but firmly, you need to explain to her that avoiding this conversation is also a decision, which places the entire burden on your shoulders. Remind her that she will be claiming what is already hers.
Expecting people to understand your expectation will not bring justice in this and many other inheritance matters. You have to speak up. A family that wants to give you your right will do so without reminders. Families that want to delay will pretend that your silence is consent.
A respectful but direct approach, ideally from your wife, is necessary. It doesn’t need to be emotional. Just make it factual: what needs to be divided and is still pending.
You are a gazetted officer, a father of three and under financial strain. You should not simply accept the injustice quietly for the sake of family peace. If that peace is bankrupting one side while making others rich, it is simply convenience.
If talking to your brothers-in-law fails, seek legal counsel. Just knowing the legal position will empower your wife to speak with confidence rather than fear.
Talk frankly with your wife. Tell her that this is important for your children’s future, and remind her that asking for what is her right is not begging.
I hope the issue is resolved without bitterness. And I hope your wife finds the courage to claim what was always hers.
Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.
Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com
Published in Dawn, EOS, December 28th, 2025
