Naomi Ackie used to have panic attacks in secret because she didn’t like the attention they brought her.
The Clayface actress, who has been open about her experience with anxiety, suffered from panic attacks between the ages of 11 and 31 and initially experienced those episodes in public places, such as school or a train station.
Eventually, the shy Ackie felt self-conscious and ashamed of having panic attacks in front of others, so she started taking herself away to have them secretly in private.
“I realised I didn’t like the attention of it… so I would have secret panic attacks,” she shared on Josh Smith’s Great Chat Show.
She continued, “There were days where I was so anxious at drama school that I would leave the class, have a panic attack in the bathroom and come back as if nothing happened. That’s how secretive (I was).”
“It’s like a little switch I had. You know, like a kettle or a pressure cooker,” Ackie mentioned, adding, “I would just feel the pressure cooker and be like, ‘Oooh, it’s getting too much. Go to the bathroom, let out some steam, and then come back and be like, OK, I can maintain it for the rest of the day.'”
At the time, Ackie thought her panic attacks were “situational”, but she’s come to realise they are “lifelong.”
While she still deals with them to this day, they aren’t as bad or intense because she has more tools to help, from her partner’s support to therapy.
Explaining her approach now, the 35-year-old said, “A lot of the time, I just let it ride over, knowing that it won’t kill me. I’ve started to realise that my anxiety is not an enemy… It’s just trying to tell me something so I have to let the wave come and (see) what is underneath it; usually it’s grief, it’s sadness, it’s anger.”
The I Wanna Dance with Somebody star noted that she doesn’t see her anxiety as a “hindrance” but simply a part of her life.
“Sometimes it feels more unmanageable and can be quite overwhelming, but it’s not so awful that it stops the beautiful life I’m trying to create for myself,” Naomi Ackie said of her struggle with panic attacks.
